Red Rover

Fake Cop Faces Real Arrest

2005-10-25T16:23:00.000-04:00

Village People 'cop' faces arrest

A friend sent this item to us with the subject:

It's fun to stay at the J-A-I-L

PS Yes, this item was good enough to drag the entire Red Rover staff outta retirement. And yes, as you can see, it doesn't take much.

She almost got on the Gotti trial

2005-08-16T09:59:00.000-04:00

Great piece here by Mia Amato.

John Gotti Jr.

Black Table does it again -- content that's original, well-written, and more exciting than most of what makes it into magazines. That's super general, but whatever. I'm only on my third cup of coffee. That's why I'm pointing you somewhere else for good stuff, rather than attempting to entertain on the fly.

So wrong. So very wrong.

2005-08-01T13:28:00.000-04:00

But so incredibly hard to resist...

DeadManEating.com

A highlight, or lowlight, depending on your sensitivity to these things...

INDIANA LAST MEAL
GREGORY SCOTT JOHNSON
May 25, 2005

He wanted Oreo pie, but they were out...

Last Meal: Johnson ate his traditional last meal Monday with his attorneys. He had ribs, pulled pork, sauteed mushrooms, soda and chocolate cheesecake (he wanted Oreo pie, but they were out). For his attorneys, he ordered pizza.

The skinny: Johnson was executed for stomping an 82-year-old woman to death in 1985.

The above is only a partial entry. The site is filled with gory details and delicious meals. I only wish it had an "about" page. sure, it's fascinating, but other than that, what is the creator's motivation? To sell their DME thongs? Somehow, I'd like it to be more than that...

But then again, I'd also like Santa and the Easter bunny to be real and into delivering presents and chocolate to Jewish children.

BREAKING LEGAL SCOOP!

2005-07-08T11:43:00.000-04:00

NYC CUPCAKE WAR!

Will children be caught in the cupcake crossfire?

Well, actually, a blog called Cupcakes Take the Cake got the scoop, but we'll give you a scoop of it here, before directing you to them for the whole sweet smell of scand-ola!

From today's post:

This morning, a reader pointed us toward an alleged cupcake controversy, right here in New York City: that Jennifer Appel, owner of Buttercup Bakeshop (and former owner of Magnolia Bakery) was supposedly suing a former employee, Mark Libertini, for opening a new cupcake-focused bakeshop in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, called Little Cupcake Bakeshop.

Get the full, shocking story right here.

UPDATE!

Our own Agent M. just weighed in with news from the field

...the field being an indoor meeting at a television network:

Ooh, we had Buttercup cupcakes yesterday for a [redacted] meeting. Delicious, but the chocolate cake part was a bit dry.

How can something so sweet lead to such a bitter war?

Good work Agent M.

All of America is still counting on you.

"I'M MAD AS HELL"

2005-07-07T14:11:00.000-04:00

"... but I don't know how to not take it anymore!"

This bloggers heart is in the right place. He's horrified by what he sees on the news and he wants to make the world safer place for children.

He wants the world wide web to give him suggestions. What can he/we do to stop crimes against children?

The debate really heats up in the comments section. Especially when others wonder if his rather grizzly facts, are indeed fact.

But check it out right here, and throw him an idea or two if you got 'em.

Top 5 reasons I've been absent from posting here

2005-07-06T17:35:00.000-04:00

5. I've been hanging out with this good time gal and getting into trouble...

Originally seen at screenhead.com, but uploaded form a treasure trove of cool olde mug shots found here.

4. I've been living it up on a small island where the natives worship me because I resemble one of their gods.

3. This blog is a test and the truth is I'm plotting real blog/content stuff behind the scenes.

2. This obituary profiling a cracked British barrister was so entertaining I almost quit showbiz.

1. Laze laze exteme laze!

"OJ, ya gotta come clean!"

2005-06-23T17:59:00.000-04:00

Maybe Rosey just wanted OJ to admit his secret love of knitting?

Check out all of
Rosey Grier's Needlepoint for Men

Originally uploaded by Extreme Craft.

Thanks to: Agent Wyatt D. for the tip

In lieu of flowers, send lettuce

2005-06-21T13:26:00.000-04:00

Man leaves behind many turtles

...and an obit that is bound to go viral in about two seconds flat.

Scroll down until you get to the cause of death:

Corwyn (Cory) William Zimbleman

Thanks to: Eddie the Eagle for the tip

Hey, how interesting an investigation blog -- WHA?!

2005-06-20T16:30:00.000-04:00

So I found this new blog via Gawker. It's called Blottered.

It's got a fresh white background and it's all centered on investigation.

What a wonderful topic for a bl-

Hey, wait a minute, that's our new blog.

They started June 15.

We started May 24.

Just saying.

It's cool because when I'm sleepy (mostly from coming up with original blog ideas) I can just link to them instead.

And maybe we can have investigation-themed blog ice cream socials!

Or have an investigation blog rivalry.

Bring. It.

(the ice cream, I mean)

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

2005-06-20T13:19:00.000-04:00

It's been ages since I last posted.

Why?

Here are some possible reasons:

1. Took a bath on my warehouse full of "Free Jacko T-Shirts"

2. The fast blogger lifestyle and the blog groupies were too much, man.

3. It's summer people. Some of us nerds like to get outside once in a great while to bake the moss off of our north sides.

In any case, enjoy Triumph the Insult Comic dog outside the Jackson trial.

To be honest, I haven't watched it yet, but I'll bet you a million zillion dollars it's hilarious.

Love to all,

Red Rover

Rescue me, David Lee!

2005-06-07T17:31:00.000-04:00

Check out this super special report from our own Agent M.!

After the announcement two weeks ago that Shaq had been sworn in as a deputy marshal, I realized I had no idea about how New York’s favorite celebrity EMT is doing these days.

It turns out David Lee Roth is actually saving people, and there’s even a blog devoted to those who were rescued by Diamond Dave himself. Actually, there aren’t too many posts on this blog, probably because Dave is still a newbie in the EMT world.

http://savedbyroth.blogspot.com/

Apparently, Diamond Dave is press shy (who knew?) and he’s not revealing where his EMT work is taking him. If you’re in New York, keep an eye out for our favorite spandex-clad gigolo.

Thanks Agent M.! All of America is still counting on you.

SHOCKING TRUTH: IT'S ALL ABOUT OIL

2005-06-07T11:57:00.000-04:00

And it aint Iraq...

It's Michael Jackson's trial.

We can't make this stuff up, people.

From Radar online:

The Michael Jackson trial now in jury deliberations isn't really about child molestation -- it's about oil. At least that's the story Jackson defense attorney Gary Dunlap is peddling. According to Dunlap, Santa Barbara DA Tom Sneddon's sole motive for pursuing the child molestation case is to get his hands on Jackson's Neverland estate. "Neverland is a valuable assetÂnot only the land itself, but the mineral rights," Dunlap tells Radar. There have been surveys of the area, and many around here are convinced Neverland may be sitting on some prime oil wells.

Full story here: Neverland's Crude Secret

In other Jackson news...

Court TV's just-the-facts newsy MJ trial blog is worth a read. You get bizarre developments outside the courtroom told with an almost entirely straight face.

Excerpt:

9:21 a.m.

Word on the street is that a busload of 100 fans is en route now to the courthouse. A Santa Maria police officer tells me he was in his "jammies, eating cereal" this morning when he was called up to come in and help out with crowd control. Welcome to the freak show. A rotund man in a Hawaiian shirt just arrived with a bushel of loofahs that he's selling for ten bucks. A man in a red-and-white clown wig and a British flag draped across his rear is blowing a kazoo and hopping up and down as the fans chant, "Michael!"

For more inside info from outside the courtroom, check out the very informative, entertaining (and yet perhaps oddly named) dispatches from the jury room blog.

Photo cred: Rootsweb

JOLIE: BE NICE OR I'LL SUE

2005-06-06T14:02:00.000-04:00

From today's NY Post:

June 6, 2005 -- FIRST Amendment be damned! When Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie say they don't want to get personal, they mean it. Both stars are making journos who interview them sign a contract to that effect and if you break it, Jolie will sue you.

The most interesting bit:

. . . The interview will not be used in a manner that is disparaging, demeaning or derogatory to Ms. Jolie.

So, um, what if the interviewer were to say, for example, that Jolie's lips are, "beautiful, sexy, but they certainly verge on the comical."

Would that be disparaging?

Or if they said, "... to be honest I haven't been able to concentrate on her acting ever since she frenched her brother at the awards show all those years ago."

Would that be demeaning?

Or what if the journalists said, "Hey guys, let's all sign these agreements, and then let's all break them and see if she sues us all?"

That'd be in breach of contract.

Or what if they said, "Hey guys, as journalists it's sucks to be told what we can and can't ask... so wouldn't it be amazing if we all just sort of forgot to interview her? Gee, wouldn't it be an amazing coincidence if we all also 'forgot' to write about her new movie..."

That would be hella cool.

Hey, don't look at us, we didn't sign anything.

Full Angelina story here.

Note: I thought the NY Post now required annoying registration. What gives?

Jackie Chan 'Battles' Copyright Pirates

2005-06-06T11:44:00.000-04:00

From the how-the-hell-did-we-miss-this? files:

HONG KONG Jun 3, 2005 — Jackie Chan battled copyright pirates, smashing fake designer watches with a hammer and using a chain saw to destroy a street-side stand hawking counterfeit bags and clothes.

But seriously folks, trademark infringement is serious business.

The trademark association said counterfeiting is an industry with a global market value of $500 billion. It produces goods ranging from baby formulas and DVDs to automotive and aviation parts.

We figure it's only a matter of time before someone makes a cheap knock off of this free blog.

...but perhaps we should put the cap back on the glue.

Full Chan/trademark story here.

Actor Crowe Arrested in New York

2005-06-06T10:07:00.000-04:00

From the BBC news website:

Actor Russell Crowe has been arrested in New York for allegedly throwing a telephone at a hotel employee.

Don't you usually do research before a movie comes out?

Still from Cinderella Man

Full story from Court TV news here.

Horse escapes, barn open for tours

2005-06-03T15:12:00.000-04:00

I mean, who wouldn't want breaking news about what happens to that news after the news has already broken?

http://blogs.washingtonpost.com/deepthroatrevealed/

The Marketing of Deep Throat

2005-06-02T10:09:00.000-04:00

Who will be first on the scene? How much are the stories going to be worth? Do 18-49 year olds know or care about this? Did Felt take notes? Does he remember enough?

Will it be a made-for-TV movie? It seems like the question is when, not will.

From today's Washington Post:

"We've already gotten about three solid pitches, two from fairly well-established Hollywood-based producers," said Henry Schleiff, chairman and CEO of Court TV, though none of those came from anyone representing the Felts. "Outside of the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot, this is the third best mystery out there."

Full story here.

Red Rover's take: Yes, do make a movie. Please. I am in the 18-49 demo. I am really into this story. I read "All the President's Men" -- yes read it! -- about three years ago.

Right after finishing the book, I went to D.C. and was truly over the moon when Priceline -- yes that thing Shatner hawked! -- came up with a room for me at The Watergate. 90 bucks a night. No, this isn't a commercial, but Priceline has gotten my poor young ass into some fancy schmancy hotels. But getting the Watergate out of all the 4-star hotels in D.C.? I thought that was ultra cool.

More of Red Rover's advice:

Dear TV Execs,

Do what Hollywood did and make Woody and Bernie way hotter than real life.

Real-life Woodward and Bernstein

Hollywoody and Bernsexy!

And really go all out: make their clothes and the soundtrack 70's funkified. Think That 70's Show meets the cool drama, big issues and bell bottoms of Al Pacino in Serpico.

Who's a hot 70's do-gooder? You are!

Now that'd be hottt. Yeah, so hot it'd get 3 t's. There's your young demo.

You're welcome.

Homeland Security Starts at Home

2005-06-01T11:41:00.000-04:00

Here's a vital tool no family should be without:

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Pint Lock

But, if you find yourself on the wrong end of this technology, cruelly locked out of a pint of Phish Food, check out this lengthy article on how safecracking works.

Then, for ice cream container cracking inspiration, I recommend you listen to this midi version of the Mission Impossible theme and then watch an episode of Court TV's Masterminds.

Lemme know if any of these crack pot suggestions work for you.

Power mix-up fools sniffer dogs

2005-06-01T10:06:00.000-04:00

From BBC News:

A team of Australian drug sniffer dogs has been sent back for retraining, after it was found they could only track talcum powder, not cocaine.

Full story here.

File this under: Funny 'cause it's true.

VF 1, J-School Diploma 0

2005-05-31T17:04:00.000-04:00

It's detailed, cocky and more than a wee bit embarrassing...
http://deepthroatuncovered.com/ --

After a four-year investigation, students at the University of Illinois have determined the identity of Deep Throat, the most elusive, anonymous news source in history: Fred Fielding, deputy counsel to former President Richard Nixon

SFX: record scratch, car crash, record scratch, WWII bomber falling from sky, record scratch, woman's scream, record scratch, sound of someone trying to remove flying beetle from their hair, record scratch, game show "wrong" buzzer, record scratch, Family Feud "survey says" w/strike sound, record scratch, bell bang, whip and bonk, record scratch, record scratch, record scratch.

UPDATE: Hey students behind deepthroatuncovered.com Deep Throat's real identity was just announcedone minute ago Go look!!!

SFX: Laughing trombone

Thanks to: Eddie the Eagle, our newsroom mole. And thanks to Eddie, for supplying his own nickname. We were fresh out.

Deep Throat (Article) Revealed!

2005-05-31T13:10:00.000-04:00

Read the Vanity Fair article here.

Since no one has the link to this yet, I asked my (no nickname yet) newsroom informant how he got this. I asked if I could pass it around.

He responded, "It's on the Vanity Fair website. Sounds like you've got a bit of Watergate-style paranoia going."

Indeed.

Of no interest: The Watergate break-in happened on June 17th, Red Rover's birthday. Consider yourselves hinted at.

Deep Throat Revealed!!!

2005-05-31T11:56:00.000-04:00

> BREAKING NEWS Vanity Fair: Ex-FBI official W. Mark Felt says he's Watergate source known as "Deep Throat." Details soon.

From CNN

From The Wire:

WASHINGTON, May 31 (Reuters) - Vanity Fair magazine said on
Tuesday that Mark Felt, a former FBI official, had revealed
himself to be "Deep Throat," the legendary source who leaked
Watergate scandal secrets to the Washington Post and brought
down President Richard Nixon.
Unmasking the identity of "Deep Throat," a key source for
Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, would solve one
of the greatest political and journalistic mysteries of recent
history.
The magazine said Felt, now a retiree living in Santa Rosa,
California, had admitted his role in the scandal to his family
and had cooperated with the story. It is the first time a major
potential source has claimed to be "Deep Throat."

INTERES'ING FACT: "Woodward noted that Deep Throat was a smoker and that he drank Scotch."

Mark Felt is currently 91.

NOTE: "The Wire" is provided to me by my super secret newsroom mole. He does not, as of yet, have a cute code name. But, have no fear, we're working on one.

Christian Slater Arrested for "Getting Handsy"

2005-05-31T09:54:00.000-04:00

Christian Slater arrested on a charge of 3rd Degree Sexual Abuse.

In this case, 3rd Degree Sexual Abuse equals touching a woman's buttal area.

Full Story Here.

More on this as it develops...

And by develops, we mean watching as every news network recaps his previous brushes with the law and replays him getting into the cop car over and over again.

Can't wait!

Update: Red Rover scooped Court TV News by 22 minutes. Ha cha!

Mo' of Honesty: Actually, NY1 deserves all the cred for alerting Red Rover to the story before 9AM. Red Rover could have immediately posted the story here, but instead chose to slowly drink a venti instant coffee with 1% milk instead.

She shoots, she scores!

2005-05-26T15:28:00.000-04:00

I have just received breaking news from our own Agent M.!

See below:

Not since David Lee Roth decided to become (I don’t know if he actually became one) an EMT, has the world been so rocked by a celebrity “taking to the streets.”

Miami, meet your newest cop:

Is that a champagne bottle? Or are you just incredibly happy to
see m... ah, fugheddit.

Read more here:

http://celtics.bostonherald.com/otherNBA/view.bg?articleid=84893">Undercover officer Shaq is on patrol

-m

Good job Agent M.

All of America is (still) counting on you.

Insider the Bloggers Mind Studio: At first I was going to title the post this, but then it would've given the item away, no? Yes, yes it would've.

Meet Agent M.

2005-05-26T12:36:00.000-04:00

Agent M. next to a media big wig. You've gotta trust us on this one.

Agent M. is young, Harvard-of-the-South educated and helping me gather reports from the field. Of course as you can almost plainly see, her "field" seems to consist of penthouse rooftops, free cocktails and playing with media players.

But the kid has a nose for news. Here's her latest reconnaissance report:

This is kind of cute. It's a blog about the federal judiciary written in a Tigerbeat fashion. It also lists other legal blogs.

http://underneaththeirrobes.blogs.com/main/

Also, I just found out that a high school picture of me is in this month's Star magazine. I'm sitting next to the new Apprentice in a forensics picture. Rad!

- M

Keep up the super awesome work Agent M.

America is counting on you.

"Granny Oakley" Freed by Lawyer Son

2005-05-26T10:18:00.000-04:00

Headline and link from the NY Post:

KILLER GRANNY GETS OUT OF JAIL AFTER 22 YRS. - THANKS TO HER SON THE LAWYER
By DEVIN SMITH and KIERAN CROWLEY
May 26, 2005 -- A Long Island grandmother, imprisoned for more than two decades for killing her abusive husband, was freed yesterday — and ran into the arms of her adoring son, a prominent attorney who graduated law school so he could fight to overturn her conviction.

Full story here
But annoyingly, registration is required.

Question: Why is NYP headline classier than mine? Have they gone soft?

THIS JUST IN!

2005-05-25T13:19:00.000-04:00

From our WTF? bureau:

AND So It Begins
BY WAYNE GARCIA
Weekly Planet
Tampa,FL,USA...
"If you wondered why Court TV is re-enacting the Michael Jackson trial with actors every day, it is exactly because of this type of video ban."

Link to full story here.

Listen, WAYNE GARCIA, I don't know if you got your J-school diploma off the back of a box of Crack Thins, but Court TV is not, NOT, re-enacting the MJ trial with actors. That is schlocky ol' E! you are thinking of. If, of course, you were thinking at all.

Court TV is providing daytime coverage of the trial with legal-eagle anchors and experts. Some of them are quite good looking, but they aren't actors. So just STEP, yo!

Thanks to: Agent Google news alerts for pointing out this numbskull journo

Update: The temptation to send this post to Mr. Garcia is so great. must. fight. dark. side...

Jessica Simpson & Nick Whatshisname Poised Not to Divorce

2005-05-25T09:37:00.000-04:00

This is what happens when writers create their own graphics

Gawker pointed to this E! online apology for the faulty report they filed yesterday concerning Jessica Simpson's divorce.

So I repeat: Jessica Simpson and that guy she's married to who also sings, are not going to divorce.

Thank you Thor. I was so scared. So very very scared...

What? The news of them breaking up didn't set off a War of the Worlds type panic?

Why should you care?

Here's why:

1. It's Jessica Simpson for @#*$ sake! But, if that's not enough to convince you that this E! fumble isn't earth-shaking topical, timely and significant, read on...

2. Jessica is a poster child for the ( in her case sorta creepy ) promise ring phenomena and teens look up to her for it.

3. Well, at least one does.

4. And wouldn't 'cha know, just this week, the BBC reported that "the ACLU filed a lawsuit against the US government over its funding of a nationwide sexual abstinence programme."

Note to my fellow Americans: yeah, I agree, "programme" spelled like that is silly.

5. On May 23rd, the Huffington Post included an entry from Lizz Winstead on government money going to this "Silver Ring Thing." It's powerful. It's funny. IMHO. And yes, I'm embarrassed and ashamed to find I'm digging certain Huffington Posts. Hell, my super special intelli-crush, Christopher Hitchens is now on it. Hitchens... ummm, he's my dreamy cranky brilliant boo bear!

Note to myself: Why did the Huffington search engine fail to find this post with keywords "chastity" and "silver ring" and "promise"? Why is Lizz not among the authors you can choose from on their pull down menu? Odd?

6. You might be interested to know, Lizz Winstead now has a lil' lawsuit of her own. She's got a suit against Air America, her former employer for 300,000 smackeroos.

Note to Lizz: didn't threatening a suit against Comedy Central work for you? Didn't you walk away with a big bag of cash? And I don't say you didn't have good reason. But in this case, I would suggest suing a company that has more money. This is probably a bad suggestion. But ya know, I'll make it anyway.

7. So, um, in conclusion, the Jessica Simpson Divorce rumor was very significant. Tens of tens of media watchers wondered: will she honor her "til death do us part" ring? Or was the "I promise I'll stay a virgin daddy" ring more powerful?

Also, although many don't like gov money going to fund a religious values organization, the question on my mind is, do these chastity promise rings work?

If they do work, then I say, take the money that's going to this program and put it towards promise rings that might have a more beneficial impact on society.

For example:

The "I promise not to kill anyone" ring for convicted murderers.

The "I promise not to touch young boys" ring for priests.

The "I promise not to write cheap and offensive blog entries" ring for people like me.

What do you think about this promise ring biz? I'm dying to know. Hurl comments my way via email. Abuse, praise, what have you.

I will share some of the best, worst and what have you tomorrow.

Note: yes, now there is no email, this is only a test. So put yer thoughts in comments section. Thanks.

Faulty British Intelligence

2005-05-24T13:17:00.000-04:00

Friends don't let friends Sith drunk

This has been a public service announcement.

Thanks to: Agent Wyatt D. for the tip

Spectortator: The Wrong Man?

2005-05-24T11:43:00.000-04:00

Breaking news:

New suspect in the Phil Spector case?!

Teasing Phil would be redundant at this point...

Phil Spector currently stands trial for the shooting of actress Lana Carlson.

But Red Rover has learned of a new suspect in the case.

Mug Shot, front

Mug Shot, side

More on this as it develops...

How to get Nine Minutes Closer to Death Without Really Trying

2005-05-24T09:59:00.000-04:00

New site. Dude messes with telemarketer.
From Feloncheck.com:

I hate scammers.
Scammers in general, but specifically ones that call me up at work and bother me. Scammers are not to be confused with telemarketers. Those guys I let off easy - they're just doing their job. A polite "no thank you" is all that is required. But scammers are a different story. They are not just doing their job. They're trying to take advantage of little old ladies. Therefore, I have no problem screwing with them.
Anyway, "Josh" calls me up with, obviously, a boiler room scam. No matter what I say, he just keeps going at it. He tries all the tricks in the book. I cannot get him to hang up. I swear this is 100% real.
- Aaron

Feloncheck.com it's a tad over 9 minutes, and sadly the premise if more exciting than the actual call. I couldn't make it past minute four. The guy thinks he's funny, but comes off as an a-hole, sort of like your dad trying to be clever and obnoxious when a telemarketer interrups dinner. The telemarketer squirms, knows he's being messed with, but can't do anything due to the nature of his job. So the justice Felon Check is dishing out to the telemarketer seems too much like a retarded cat playing with its prey.

Interesting note: Jessica Coen clued me in to the fact that Feloncheck, like Blogebrity, was specifically created as part of a new-sites-trying-to-get-traffic-fast contest.

Well, I found it interesting. And if you are a nerd, you will too.

Anywho, if you want some really brilliant telemarkety goodness, I suggest comedian Eugene Mirman's recent conversations with an anti-gay phone company.

Don't come running to me if listening to any or all of this gets you fired.

Spector's Past Gun Play, Current Hairdo, to Figure in Trial

2005-05-24T09:33:00.000-04:00

Did your $4 latte not wake you up?

Try this.

"Crazy, party of one."

AP Photo, Yahoo news: Full story here.

Thanks to: Agent Tami V. for the clue-in.